Welcome to my world..

I'm the proud mother of a little guy that I consider to be the sweetest, most adorable boy on the planet. I know... every mother sees their child in that light so I know you'll take what I say about him with a grain of salt. Nick is smart, sweet, loving and he holds my heart in the palm of his hands. In many ways he's your typical 4-year-old boy. He loves cars, playing in water, being outdoors and getting as dirty as humanly possible. In other ways he stands apart from his same age counterparts. He often retreats to a world of his own where his best friend is a noisy sea sponge he faithfully watches on TV. He lacks the vocal ability to tell when something's bothering him so we look for clues and try to meet his needs through intuition and using what has worked in the past. You see, my child has autism. A couple of years ago I couldn't even write those words without crying, but time makes the realization of it much easier. That's not to say that I don't have moments where I worry about how his autism will affect how he goes about his life and how people will see him. Those thoughts are foremost in my mind on a daily basis. They just easier to deal now since he has  made some progress and has assimilated into situations like school with ease.

When Nick was first diagnosed back in May 2005 I was faced with many questions. The one regarding the prognosis for his future was the one that I heard the most. I knew at the time that would be the hardest one to answer and I was right. It's been two years since he was diagnosed and I still don't know what to say when asked that. Time will tell, that's really all I can say. Autism is such a puzzling disorder that there isn't any wonder why the symbol of a puzzle has become connected to it. It's a condition that baffles even the most experienced researchers who have dedicated their careers to trying to figure it out.  What I am the most grateful for is how much IS known about it now and how that knowledge has given way to treatments that eluded children who struggled with it in the past.

Do I wish that my child wasn't afflicted with this disorder? Sure, but that isn't his, or our reality. I'm not even fond of talking about that kind of wish. He is what he is.. if that makes sense. To wish him to be otherwise would be like wanting him to be a different person. I happen to love the little person he is too much for that. I think the quirks that set him apart from others in his age group are adorable because they're his. They help make up the person who I'll spend the rest of my life loving and being grateful for.

I hope to enable anyone who reads this blog who doesn't know him to get to know the boy he is.. he's pretty amazing, but like I said before - I am biased.