In my last post I spoke of my dog, Gizmo.. we put him to sleep last night. I know in my heart it was the right thing to do but it doesn't make it any easier, or at least not yet. He'd been going downhill pretty fast for the past week and yesterday was his worst day yet. I couldn't bear to see him suffer so I felt it was my obligation to him to put him out of his misery. I know what we did was right but it doesn't take away the gut-wrenching sadness that I've been feeling since leaving the vet's office last night. His passing was so peaceful and I'm so grateful that I was there to see it. He merely relaxed and was quickly at peace. It tore my heart to hear the doctor tell me, after checking him for vital signs, that he'd passed but at the same time I felt an extreme sense of relief knowing that he was no longer suffering.
Since putting him down last night I've been struggling with the plan to only be grateful for having him for so long. I'm sure that once this initial sadness wanes that'll be easier. I'll never stop loving him or feeling such gratitude that I had the privilege of being his mama for so long. We're having him cremated and will be receiving his ashes in a week or so. I suspect that's when I'll feel some comfort - when he's returned to us. His favorite spot in our house was in the bigger closet in our bedroom. I plan to put his ashes on the shelf in there so he'll be in his preferred spot. It's the least I can do after all he's done for us. Thank God for that dog.. that's all I can say. How lucky were we??
RIP Gizmo
March 15, 1992 - September 7, 2007
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