Geeze, has it been a year??

I am officially the laziest blogger ever.

I cannot believe it's been nearly a year since I last updated this page. I know it's been a long while because when I last blogged we had just put Gizmo down and yesterday was the first anniversary of his passing. I visited this blog and even attempted to update a few times but coming here and seeing how sad my last posts were made me feel those feelings all over again. The first year without him was rough, no doubt about that. He was such a part of me and I still feel like a piece is missing a year later. I still avoid going near the pet food aisles at grocery stores and Target -- I had a few instances where I would have been embarassed if anyone saw me crying just looking at the things I used to buy for him when he was alive. Silly, huh?

Yesterday was a day where I took Giz out of his closet and put his box in the kitchen. I had a few moments of sadness before I left for work and left him in his other favorite room of the house when I departed for the day. When I came home Nick had put Gizzy's box on the couch and had been carrying him around all day. When I asked him where Giz is he'd point at the box and say "Izzzz", as he called him. Last night I was sitting at the kitchen table reading and Nick brought me Gizzy's box, climbed up on my lap, gave me a kiss and ran off. He knew I needed to have him.

Nick may not be very verbal, or at least not yet, but he has a deeper understanding of my needs than anyone I have ever known. I am so lucky to have that boy just as I was lucky to have the beautiful boy who made me a mommy in the first place, Giz.