I spent my birthday exactly as I had hoped I would, with my mother at the beach where she had requested her ashes to be placed. Going over there alone was what I needed to do on that day, my birthday gift to myself. I set out in late morning and spent about an hour and a half at what will forever be known to me as her beach. It was very chilly that day and there were only two people on the beach the whole time I was there. That solitude was an added bonus to the whole experience for me. I really did want to be alone with her and feel free to show my emotions while there. And show them I did.. the emotions I felt that day being with her there ran the gamut from happy to sad, with just about every emotion in between. I really did feel her presence too. I sat there and listened to music on my Ipod, songs I knew she loved. I spoke to her at length, even though I knew she already was aware of everything I was saying to her even before I spoke. If she was alive I would have spent the day with her; going over there was the one way I still could. The cool ocean breezes and the wonderful smell of salt water soothed me as I stood there near the surf. Each deep breath of that felt like heaven to me. Scent memory is such a powerful thing for me so I put some the scent that mom always wore, Skin Musk, on a sweatshirt and took it with me to be able to both feel her and smell her at the same time. That was a powerful combination but so comforting at the same time.

Here are some pictures I took that day..

This is a picture of the campground/beach sign. The significance of this beach lies in the name and I wanted to get a pic of that. My mom's last name her whole life was Wright and when I told her about this beach and took her there the summer before she died she told me she couldn't think of a better place to be set free.
















This last picture is my personal favorite taken that day. I love the way the water is stretched out like a sheet.



Thank you again to all my friends who helped me ring in my 40th birthday and all of those who sent birthday wishes, even if they were in the form of a countdown to my 50th birthday. That person knows who he is but I can get great joy in knowing he'll make it there before I do, so HA!