I came across a list recently that I really wanted to share here and comment on.

The Nine 'Rules' For Parents Of A Child With Special Needs

1. Take one day at a time, and take that day positively. You don't have control over the future, but you do have control over today.

Such an important thing to think about.. as a parent of a special needs child I worry about his future perhaps a bit more than the parent of a typically developed kid. Truth be told, there isn't a damn thing I can do about beyond giving him access to the therapies he needs, doing my part in implementing their teaching tactics, and providing my son with all the love and encouragement I can muster up.

2. Never underestimate your child's potential. Allow, encourage, and expect your child to develop to the best of his abilities.

I hope I do that consistently, especially the first part about never underestimating him. I think that if he were to ever see me do that he will follow suit.

3. Find and allow positive mentors: parents and professionals who can share with your their experiences, advice, and support.

I need to work on this.. I do have a great friend whose son is the same age as mine. She and I have been on this journey together for a long time. More about her later though..

4. Provide and be involved with the most appropriate educational learning environments for your child from infancy on.

This is one rule that I pride myself in being a stickler on. I have been involved in each aspect of his education thus far and have accompanied his classes on each of their field trips. I think I have just as much fun as the boy does and it gives me to chance to get to know and talk with his teachers and aides.

5. Keep in mind the feelings and needs of your spouse and your other children. Remind them that this child does not get more of your love just because this child needs/gets more of your time.

Ok, ok.. I'll concede that I am guilty on this one. The needs of everyone, including myself, have all taken a back seat to Nick.

6. Answer only to your conscience; then you will be able to answer to your child. Allow yourself jealousy, anger, pity, frustration, and depression in small amounts whenever necessary.

This is another hard one.. I don't like to allow myself to feel those feelings too often. When I think of my son's disability I honestly try to see it only from his standpoint and how it effects him. Yes, I am effected by my son being autistic but not in the same league he is. To feel those feelings mentioned would make me feel like I am being ungrateful for just what an amazing guy he is.

7. Be kind to yourself. Don't focus continually on what needs to be done. Remember to look at what you've accomplished.

I honestly do try to work on this one. I know that Nick is happier when I am too so taking that in account makes me wish to do things that benefit us both.

8. Stop to smell the roses. Take advantage of the fact that you have gained a special appreciation for the little miracles that others take for granted.

I really like this one and totally agree. I am ever grateful for anything my child says and praise him for every attempt at communication.

9. Keep and use your sense of humor. Cracking up with laughter can keep you from cracking up with stress.

Also, very true. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a goofy sense of humor. I truly believe that wit is an important element in keeping ones sanity.


I'd like to post something here about a great lady that I admire and love. Five years ago I met Taria on an online baby site. We're clear across the country from each other yet became great friends. Our boys are the same age and are both autistic. She's been my partner on this journey through diagnoses, therapies, and the tracking of our boys progresses. I am grateful for her sense of humor and kindness and think she's an amazing person. This afternoon she gave birth to her much wanted second child and I couldn't be happier for her. Welcome to the world, Justin.. you are a lucky little man indeed. Love ya, T :)