Birthday Boy

It's hard to believe but today is the day of my sweet little boy's 8th birthday. The old adage about time flying is so true and time seems to pass even quicker when you're witnessing a child grow. Sometimes when I am feeling nostalgic for the baby days of the past I close my eyes and relive the first time I saw his little face. I remember looking down when he was handed to me and seeing in the crook of my right arm the sweetest face with the most prominent red lips I had ever seen on a newborn baby. I recall not being able to stop staring at those lips and being fascinated by the softness of his skin, especially on his chubby cheeks. He has mesmerized me since..

Nick isn't your average child but I honestly wouldn't trade who he is for a typically developed one. He is who is and I accept him. I wish communication was easier for him, not for my own needs. He tries and I salute his attempts. Do I hope he will be able to talk more as the years go on? Sure, but if he doesn't I will still love and accept him as I do now. He is a very sensitive, kind boy and his sweet spirit is what sets him apart from others. He has great instincts with people..he seems to have a innate understanding of the needs of others. I can't count how many times he has lifted me up without me showing I needed that kind of support. There was one incident recently when I was having a rough day that really illustrates his sweet side.. I was sitting on the floor in the living room and he came in and took me by the hand, had me sit on the couch so we were eye-to-eye and kissed my forehead. He just knew I was having a bad day and that was his ways of showing his love and concern for me. Seriously, it just doesn't get better than that, folks.

On the last day of school Nick was given a speech devise on loan from his school district. It has a series of panels where PECS (picture exchange communication system) cards are placed. I recorded my voice in each spot so he can use them to indicate what he wants or make a sentence. There is an "I want" PEC on each grid of the machine and he can then use that plus the item that he does want to let us know what he's wanting or needs at that moment. One night I went out to the store for a few minutes and he stayed home with his daddy. For some reason when I left it really bothered him and he cried the whole time. He was asked what he wanted and he grabbed the devise and used it to say " I want more mommy". Naturally I dissolved to tears when I got home and heard that.

Since giving birth to him my life has changed in so many ways.. some good, others not, but the best thing about these past 8 years has been having Nick in my life. He requires major dedication and devotion but none of that has been difficult for me to summon up. He didn't ask to be born nor did he ask to be afflicted with his disorder. I chose to have him and now I owe it to him to do whatever it takes to further his chances of having the best life he can have. He faces challenges each day that I know nothing about and cannot really even relate to. All I can do is my best to help him through those obstacles and be the best I can be for him. He deserves nothing less than that and everything else I can give as well.

He is still asleep but I can't wait until he wakes up so I can smother him with kisses and hugs. Sometimes I still try to put him in the crook of my arm where I first saw him. Naturally he no longer fits but looking down at him in that spot brings me back to the first time I saw him there. I loved him then and I love him about a million times more today.

Happy birthday to my sweet bubba boy